Phil's-osophy and Other Favorite Quotes - Modern Family [V]

I figured I'd start a thread where people could post some of their favorite quotes from Modern Family.

To get the ball rolling, one of my favorite things ever in Modern Family was the "Phil's-osophy" book that Phil gave to Haley, containing these gems:

If you love something, set it free. Unless it's a tiger.

When life gives you lemonade, make lemons.  Life will be all like, "What?!?!"

You can tell a lot about a person from his biography.

Success is 1% inspiration, 98% perspiration, and 2% attention to detail.

Always look people in the eye, even if they're blind.  Just say, "I'm looking you in the eye."

If you get pulled over for speeding, tell the policeman your spouse has diarrhea.

You only get one chance at a first impression. I suggest Julia Child because it’s easy to do.

The most amazing things that can happen to a human being will happen to you if you just lower your expectations.

Dance until your feet hurt. Sing until your lungs hurt. Act until you’re William Hurt.

Take a lesson from parakeets: If you’re ever feeling lonely, eat in a front of a mirror.

Never be afraid to reach for the stars because even if you fall, you’ll always be wearing a Parentchute™.

Older black ladies make the best iced tea.

Watch a sunrise at least once a day.

If you’re ever in a jam, a crayon scrunched up under your nose makes a good pretend mustache.

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